January is one of the best months of the year. Why? It’s the start of a new year and a new season of the “Bachelor.” Nick Viall, who is no stranger to the show, is trying to find the love of his life once again. ABC has taken
advantage of Nick’s situation using the slogan “fourth time’s the charm.” However, in my opinion, Nick’s situation just shows how unsuccessful dating is in our society nowadays.
Why is everyone in our world so focused on finding “love” or “the love of their life”? People turn to social media, Tinder, and so many other dating apps just to find that “special someone.” We are all too scared to go up to someone at a bar or at work and ask them on a date. Instead, we hide behind a screen and maybe swipe right on Tinder or poke them on Facebook. This is very similar to Viall being on a TV show with 30 other women trying to finally find his one “true love.”
Viall is basically sitting on Tinder swiping left or right with which girl he likes and doesn’t, except it’s on TV for everyone to see. Everyone always wonders if their significant other is cheating on them, however, on the “Bachelor” this happens every episode. Nick can literally kiss whoever he wants, whenever he wants with the other women knowing. This kind of dating overall just becomes more of a competition for that rose instead of his love.
Most bachelors and bachelorettes who give the final rose away don’t end up staying with that person. Many of them get divorced or never even make it to marriage. Some bachelors in the beginning didn’t even pick either of the final two girls. It seems as if the main focus within this show is money. In fact, the last bachelor, Ben Higgins, and his fiancé are having a TV wedding special. This just adds to the fact most people go on this show for the fame. Aaron Rodger’s little brother, Jordan, won the last “Bachelorette” and many accused him of only being on the show for the fame.
Why are we promoting women in their early twenties believing that they are on their way to finding “true love?” Throughout the entire show, you hear them saying how “he’s the one” and how they’re “falling in love.” It’s more lust than love. This is why I believe the “Bachelor” and “Bachelorette” are not shows about finding love – they are just another reality TV show endlessly filled with drama. If this is how we are viewing love nowadays then we might as well give up on it now.
Viall has all the control in this situation, which isn’t healthy in any relationship. He gets to chose who goes on the one-on-ones, who gets to be in the group dates, and who’s involved in the one-on-two dates. All of these girls are gushing about how that date was the “best date of their life.” You know why? These dates are impossible to do. It is so expensive to rent out the whole Milwaukee Art Museum to have a private dinner in the main lobby. People don’t normally go on huge group dates to a farm to milk cows and scoop “poo” as Corinne would say.
These unrealistic dates are setting us up for failure with love. There is no possible way an average guy could ever plan a date for you to go deep in the Louisiana forest and see an ancient tribe that does voodoo work. This isn’t a regular occurrence. Then, we set our expectations too high with dates and expect too much out of people. We seem to not realize that we are all average humans and not super people capable of producing the most romantic date in the universe.
Love isn’t being picked out of a select amount of girls and getting the final rose. Love is running into someone at the most random place and getting that little boost of confidence to ask for their number. Love is getting the courage to talk to someone at the bar and ending up talking to them for the rest of the night. Love is surprises and not DM’s on Instagram. Love is not how we define it through media currently. We must get away from this online dating culture and believing these shows actually lead to love. Don’t spend your day with your significant other “Netflix and chilling.” Instead, plan a fun day with them by going on a hike or to a nice dinner. Especially for this upcoming Valentine’s Day, make it a special day and don’t follow any superficial ideas from the “Bachelor.”
